Part 39: Episode XXXVIII: Pick Up the Stick

Episode XXXVIII: Pick Up the Stick



Back to it. We’ll be seeing more of the Animal Loving Machine later on. He’s got a couple future sidequests for us. Ones with some exceedingly nice animal related upgrades, at that. But we’ll get to that in the next sidequest intermission block after this chapter concludes. For now, we’re going to comb the forest for a couple more hidden weapons scattered about the region.


Music: Forest Kingdom (Quiet)





The first of the two weapons we’ll be collecting today. The first is on a plateau just south of the waterfall from the start of the area. Indeed, it’s on top of the cavern where we got the Dragoon Lance. But if you think you can jump on any of the outcroppings in that part of that map that definitely look like you ought to be able to climb ‘em you’re sorely mistaken.





The Forest Zone is easy to transverse from one end to the other. Nobody is fucking impressed if you can do that. It’s getting to specific areas in the Forest Zone that’s a pain in the ass. For instance, in order to get to that aforementioned plateau? Well, of course the route there involves going half way across the map to the east to a second waterfall/stream where another squad of robo-knights are honing their skills.





From there, we need to follow the stream south back to the canyon. We get a nice view of the actual bridge to the southern half of the Forest Zone from here. That’s further to the east. We’ll be heading there momentarily.





Instead, from here we’re going to head back to the west across this rocky terrain that absolutely looks like shit we shouldn’t be able to climb on. But nope! This is the intended route to our destination back to the western waterfall. It’s kinda denoted on the mini-map except the part where the only spot it’s reachable is a specific bit by the stream.



Although even on this trail, we’ve got to be careful traveling as not quite all of these rocks are marked as kosher for 2B to climb across. The ones with the shitty looking green textures are mostly OK. But the somewhat less mossy rocks just a hair below those? Invisible forces will shove 2B right off and she’ll have to try again.



Before you rush to defend the Forest Zone’s maiden honor because you personally have not encountered such difficulty on this ugly heap of polygons that’s supposed to be craggy rocks... Consider this: Shut up. Nobody cares!





An android corpse and the telltale sign of 2B and 9S sinking into the geometry denotes we’re on the right path. To finally get to our destination of this wayward hidden weapon, we need to make a jump between cliff faces across the Dragoon Lance stream from earlier in the area.





At that point it’s still possible to hit the rocks wrong and slip off as they only programmed 2B’s mantle to work specifically on that middle outcropping. She just slips off the other two sides if she lands there. Thankfully, we’re finally here at another chained up tree like the one we saw when we picked up the first Spear class weapon prior to entering the Amusement Park.





This go around, the prize isn’t going undefended. A Level 33 medium-biped spearboy and a trio of gunner friends emerge from the ether to defend the weapon. Honestly, the gunners are the bigger threat since an errant energy orb from an enemy with 11 Levels on 2B does a considerable amount of damage. Though the spearman is no slouch given his attacks have some nasty knockback if they connect. Getting ringed out after clambering half way across the area would be irritating, to say the least.





Once the machine lifeforms are scrapped we are free to investigate the chained tree and claim our prize: the first of a new class of weapon (OK technically unarmed counts as part of this class but there is zero reason to ever do that.)



Virtuous Grief is the first proper Combat Bracers class weapon. Let’s take a closer look.



Combat Bracers are a class of weapon that first showed up in Drakengard 3. Although none of the weapon entries from Drakengard 3 make it into this game. Zero used Combat Bracers as more of a claw type weapon. 2B is more of a punch girl.

The first upgrade to Virtuous Grief grants a boost to ATK Speed. At max level, it’s another Holy Blessing/higher attack power at max HP deal. Kinda boring all around on the upgrade front. Let’s see if its weapon story holds up...


Uh huh... So that’s another double murder with a side of decapitation. I’m going to assume the man in the story’s head was uppercut off like a cheap Mortal Kombat Fatality. What with the fist weapon and all...



Anyway, the Combat Bracers are really fun weapons if not the most incredibly effective. Lack of range is the biggest mark against them. 2B really has to be up in an enemy’s grill to get her punching on and there are several enemies where that is decidedly not a great idea. There’s also the fact that there aren’t very many Combat Bracers in the game. Indeed, this totally roundabout pain in the ass to get is one of the only ones for a very long time. I may have made it to the first ending blind having never seen a Combat Bracer outside of Unarmed. And by that point I already had a couple preferred weapons at Level 3.



Still, shoryukening the shit out of a robot is always good fun and that’s what counts.





Let’s get back on track. We’ve done everything we can of note (within our abilities at the moment) on the northern half of the Forest Zone. Time to head south towards the castle. Which of course means heading as far as we can east first and hanging south down a ruin covered slope. Here we find...



Don’t let any intruders get in!
We must protect our king!
Protect our king!
Royal knights. Give your lives for the king of our forest!
For the king of our forest!



Medium-biped knights further into the forest come decked out in the full Dark Souls coward kit. Giant great shield. Spears. Just missing a fully Havel’s set. And you just know if given the chance, they’d be rocking Pyromancy as a secondary ability.





Maybe the heavily armored guys are further into the woods. Regardless, shields, like most anything, are no match against Mirage. Once the shields are out of the way, they’re no different from the rest of the jerks we’ve encountered. That’s the last batch of machines stopping us on this side of the pond.





Now then, let’s finally cross the river and head towards that ICO ass looking castle in the distance. No windmills to be found about the area, sadly. But 9S does have an interjection once we cross to the other side.



But how can a concept like loyalty be understood by a machine?

It’s best to pretend the early sidequests in NieR: Automata exist outside the main plot narrative otherwise it sort of feels like 9S bashed his head at some point, corrupting all the data he’d accumulated on all the machines that clearly aren’t just mindless drones and the occasional weird anime boyband man-machine anomaly.





The southern half of the Forest Zone is much tinier than its northern cousin. Not counting the massive castle part of it, of course. Its primary landmark is a trio of arches leading towards the castle proper.



To the south of the region, we find a barred gate leading out of the Forest Zone. Taking a look at the map, it seems like that direction loops back toward Pascal’s Village. But we cannot access that at this time.





Instead, our journey takes us eastward toward the castle. Though as the androids approach the looming structure, something disturbs the birds in the nearby woods. I’m going to hazard a guess and say it’s probably some machine knights pissed we’re trespassing in their territory.



Die, androids!


Music: Forest Kingdom (Dynamic)





Called it. Though this time, the Forest Kingdom knights have brought something new to the table...



Meet the Goliath-Biped: Enhanced Legpower Model. While all of the Goliath-Bipeds we’ve encountered thus far had bulked up considerably in the upper body region and skipped leg day, this one went completely the opposite direction. Gone are the jetpacks for mobility or the windmill spinning punches. Instead, this big boy sprints around the area eager to kick an android’s ass. Quite literally.



Of particular note about its dashing, the Enhanced Legpower Models have electrified armor. We’ve encountered electrified armor of the handheld variety and it was easily sorted out with use of Mirage. It’s a much larger issue when said armor is 10x larger than 2B and getting within range with Mirage will get her zapped before the attack can fire off.

There is the anti-electricity salve which grants 2B immunity to electricity attacks. At no point does anyone remember it exists or uses it until the machine in question is moments away from dying. That’s just a fact of life.





Beyond the electric legs, Thunder Thigh Bot has a shockwave stomp. Of course it does. You cannot have legs that beefy and NOT have a shockwave stomp. That’s just not done. It’s easily avoided with a double jump to evade. Just mind 2B doesn’t jump towards the machine since, again, electric legs.



In addition to the stomp, the leggy Goliath-Biped has a mean whirlwind sweep that can deal a ton of damage if it connects. Not an instant kill like the standard Goliath-Biped’s similar attack. But still quite dangerous.





Dealing with the Legpower Goliath isn’t too different from the standard variety. The only real armor it has are those electric legs and those aren’t remotely as well shielded as the standard Goliath’s beefy arms. It also seems to be way easier to stun overall given the lack of general armor. It practically comes to a standstill for a good 10-15 seconds once both leg armors are destroyed.





All in a day’s work. Hopefully we’ll never come across a Goliath-Biped that thought to work out both its legs AND its arms equally at the robo-gym. We won’t there’s only the two Goliath-Biped types and an enhanced version of the first one.



Now then... with the last of the Forest Kingdom’s sentries dispatched, we could go on to raid the castle. But... well, I did say there were two weapons to collect in the Forest Zone and we only got the one. Sooooo...



On the third archway leading into the castle there is a treasure chest. Take a guess where the new weapon is located. Go on. I’ll wait.



The trouble is actually getting up to that treasure chest. 2B cannot double jump that high up and androids don’t climb surfaces. Even easily clambered up ones like eroded brick walls. It’s against YoRHa regulations, you see. So what do we do...?



Bad news. No, it doesn’t involve that boar butt. If only... No, instead it involves a precise platforming challenge. Indeed, pretty much the only one in the entire game. Mostly because this game does NOT have the controls for precise platforming. Like at all. For a few reasons. Let me explain...







First of all, we need to have 2B climb this downed pillar and onto the standing pillar it’s leaning against. From there, with a double jump + dash + Pod boost we can make it onto the first archway. Great job! Now we’ve just got to do it two more times. But first, we’ve got to make our way atop the two pillars in-between the archways. That’s easier said than done.



2B can easily float down with her Pod to the first pillar. Landing on it successfully is another story...



First of all, all of 2B’s motions have weight to them. She doesn’t stop on dime nor does she instantly turn around. This is almost never an issue... except for here where we have to keep her on a tiny little square. Just over correcting course can accidentally send 2B flying off the platform and whoops! Try again from the start. That’s mostly on the player getting a feel for movement that is never required again in the game.



The second and far more irritating issue is this motherfucker right here: 9-fucking-S. Dipshit Robot Tails here just cannot be separated from 2B for any length of time. He just HAS to follow along as she attempts this platforming challenge. Wouldn’t want to feel left out. Scanners can do this too! Call me Nines! Hurr! The problem is, 9S’s model has collision with 2B’s model. In other words, he can scoot into her and push her around. Which is a REAL GODDAMN ISSUE when you’re trying to stay on this tiny platform and suddenly this fuckwit teleport leaps into the middle of the platform as you’re right by the edge trying to maintain 2B’s footing.



Again, at no other point in the game is 9S’s ability to slightly nudge 2B ever an issue. Sadly, none of the commands for 9S’s combat style include “FUCK OFF INTO THE SUN, 9S! I’M BUSY! WAIT IN THE CAR!”





It makes it so the easiest way to deal with this platforming is to just GO FOR IT non-stop. Don’t think. Feel. Be the double jump to dash. Hone those skills we’ll never need to use again because they realized the platforming controls in this game are kind of floaty garbage.



This was one of the very last weapons in the game I unlocked in my initial playthrough. Gee, I wonder why...



The Cypress Stick is a Dragon Quest crossover weapon from that quiet Enix half of the whole Square-Enix thing. It’s err... a bat made out of cypress. It’s usually the weakest weapon in those games, as I recall. And it is the weakest weapon in NieR: Automata as well. Initially... Upgraded, it gains insane Critical + chances to the point it might be one of the strongest weapons in the game.



At maximum level, it unlocks Hero Sigil. Which is a unique passive visual trait. Namely, it changes all the damage values from attacking enemies into the Dragon Quest cartoony RPG font and all of the treasure chest models are transformed into retro Dragon Quest models. That’s cute, I guess. Not worth that shitty platforming challenge. Thankfully, they never pull anything like that again in the game.

Now then, about that weapon history...




I guess they couldn’t have someone’s family get torn to shreds by Slimes or the like. Fun fact: Yoko Taro is drinking buddies with the current head Dragon Quest guy. It’s the main reason he’s not been cast into the mobile game salt mines despite just about all his games selling poorly.





Now then... We’ve got a wooden stick and some samurai helmets we can punch machines to death with. I think we’re well equipped to take on the Forest King’s Castle next time as NieR: Automata continues!






Video: Episode 38 Highlight Reel





Forest Zone Ruins Concept Art - One of the first pieces of concept art released for the game. Guess they nailed it in one since that's pretty much the final product's design. Shitty jumping puzzle not withstanding.